January 2011
December 2010
Day 127: I decided to write my blog post while I was drug free so I would be able to write something coherent. The past few days have not been my best blogging moments. My recent blog posts have been written under the influence of narcotics and have been carelessly thrown together. My mouth is feeling a little bit better today. I don’t think I’ll have to take the painkillers today. I...
Gum Graft Day 3
Day 126:I’m feeling better today. I baked some cookies for Xavier and watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I love Johnny Depp in that. My favorite quote is about the cannibals. Today, i was reading this girl named Haovan’s blog. Her and her boyfriend have been together for almost three years. She’s 16 and her boyfriend’s 18. Here’s her link:...
Riding in a car with your friends
accioredvines:
so-intense:
Riding in a car with your parents
Gum Graft:Part 2
Day 125: Today was better. I was able to take my pain killers and keep my food down. Hoorary. I watched both Chronicles of Narnia today but I slept through most of them. These painkillers make me sleepy. I’m surprised I’m still up. I feel like I’m about to pass out any second though. I watched a Dr.Phil show on abuse today. Abuse is one of the things that scares me most when...
Hungry
Day 124: I’m writing this late because yesterday was pure hell. My mouth was killing me. The pain medicine made me sick. I looked as pale as a ghost. I couldn’t sleep. It was a nightmare. The only good part of yesterday was the nitrous oxide. Right now I’m holding an ice pack to my mouth watching Julie and Julia. This movie is making me hungry for things I can’t eat....
Gum Graft
Day 123: I don’t feel like writing. What’s new? I need to find some interesting topics to write about if I’m going to last for a year doing this. Tomorrow I’m getting another gum graft. I’m nervous because it hurts. I’ve had one done before and now they’re doing another one. The good news is Kiani and Michelle are going to come over and watch movies with...
La-la Land
Day 122:I love our conversations. They always make me smile and laugh. Correction, you always make me smile and laugh. Sometimes the things you say are “aw” worthy and sometimes you say things that make me think you read my mind. I love that my hands are always warm and yours are always cold so we even each other out. I love a lot of things and the list is in the journal ha so I...
Bonfire Night
Day 121: I’m writing this from a beach house. I had a wonderful bonfire night combined with playing sardines. Friends are an interesting thing. Each person has their own place in the group. There’s the clown, the peace keeper, the artsy one, etc. I think our group has one of everything. I don’t know what I am. I’m the quiet one in the group. The sensible one. I’m not...
Exhausted Hate
Day 120:Late at night I am always in an exhausted daze. I don’t want to go to sleep because I’d rather stay up talking to people or writing. I’m yawning like crazy right now/ Blah what do I write? Words, SPEAK TO ME! Tell me what to write! Neighbors are throwing a party. Whoop de doo, What’s been happening with me? Well yesterday I was really close to cutting. I was in the...
The Future
Day 119: I am cold. You may be asking yourself, why doesn’t she just go and put on a sweater/sweatshirt? Well the answer to that question is that I’m just too lazy. My closet is five feet but bed is so comfy it’s impossible to move. I am also too lazy to write a long blog post. I wrote a long one yesterday so I’ll write a short one today. Plus, I hate to admit it but...
Drama
Day 118: I hate drama. Right now there’s these two girls fighting on Facebook who I’m friends with so it keeps showing up on my news feed. Girl A commented on Girl B’s picture saying her shirt was down too low which started a fight. Of course I could just not read their back and forth banter but I have to say it’s quite interesting. Why is it interesting? They have the...
A delicate frame, a fragile design.: 12/20/10... →
we-are-not-meaningless:
12/20/10
Nothing is ever going to change. I’m always going to feel this irresistible, insatiable pull. Aren’t I?
I know it’s better for me that she’s gone. Out of my life. She was nothing but a trigger. Her pain, struggles, words, set me off so many times, I lost count. I’ve been better controlled since she left.
Haven’t I?
I’ve been about six weeks clean. Been caring...